


No Pancakes

by EaglePursuit



Series: Another Summer's Sunny Days [11]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Crystal - Freeform, F/M, Matchmaker Mabel Pines, Post-Gravity Falls, Returning to Gravity Falls, Short, Teenage Dipper Pines, Teenage Dipper Pines and Mabel Pines, Teenage Mabel Pines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:40:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25313971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EaglePursuit/pseuds/EaglePursuit
Summary: Part 11 of Another Summer's Sunny Days. Dipper makes one final attempt to convince Crystal to stay in Gravity Falls but is interrupted by a twelve ton apex predator from the Cretaceous
Relationships: Dipper Pines/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Another Summer's Sunny Days [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1792519
Kudos: 14





	No Pancakes

**Author's Note:**

> Based on: Disney’s Gravity Falls  
> Created by: Alex Hirsch
> 
> Beta readers: my wife & PK2317  
> Art by: KID | @KIDWMA

No Pa ncakes

Dipper and Crystal walked briskly down Main Street towards the bus station on the far edge of town with Mabel and Waddles in tow. Mabel struggled to keep pace with the squabbling pair as she busily typed on the touchscreen on her phone with her thumbs. Waddles did his best to guide her around lamp posts, newspaper stands, and garbage cans by tugging on his leash.

“Thank you for coming back to the Shack last night,” Dipper said, carrying Crystal’s bag.

“I wasn’t about to spend the night alone in a creepy bus station in a strange town. And this town is the strangest,” she replied stiffly. “Besides, I needed to get my stuff.”

He resorted to pleading as they arrived at the station. “Look, just stay, please! We’ll go get those pancakes at Greasy’s, avoid all the weird stuff, and just have normal fun.”

“Like what?” Crystal quickly bought a ticket at an automated machine. “Miniature golf? Bowling? Is anything normal here?” 

“Actually, miniature golf is pretty weird here too,” Dipper conceded. “And I’m banned from the bowling alley after one of the employees blew up.

Mabel, still texting, murmured in agreement.

They walked to the bus parked out front that had ‘California’ displayed on its sign. “Dipper, we were almost killed last night by something that shouldn’t even exist.” Crystal stopped at the door to the bus and turned to face him. “If that’s what you consider fun around here, I can’t imagine how you survived a week. You should come back with me. You both should!”

The driver regarded the arguing pair with disinterest. “This bus is leaving in two minutes. Is anyone else getting on?

“But I’m happy in Gravity Falls!” Dipper ignored the driver. “This place makes me feel like myself.”

“You’re insane!” Crystal snapped back.

The air vibrated with the deep rumble of heavy footsteps almost as if an unseen thunderstorm were approaching. “Uh, guys.” —Mabel looked up from her phone— “I hate to break up the tender goodbyes, but I think something’s coming.”

Dipper and Crystal stopped and looked towards the forest, where a flock of birds erupted from the upper branches. A primitive human-bull hybrid armed with a bone spear came hurtling through the branches and landed on his back in the middle of the road with a grunt.

The manotaur pulled himself to his hooves, wiping a trickle of blood from his nose. He gave Dipper a nod, then charged back into the forest with a roar.

Crystal grimaced with disgust. “Did that  _ thing _ have fists on its chest!?”

“Um, yep. That’s Testosteraur. Those are his nipples.” Dipper sighed.

“What is it doing?” she asked as the trees in the forest began to tremble and sway.

“I think we’re about to find out.”

A toothy, green terror larger and probably faster than Stan’s RV burst out of the woods a few hundred yards down the street, followed by a dozen shouting bull-men with deep-seated insecurities about their masculinity. It was a fully grown Tyrannosaurus rex, complete with slavering maw, long, thick tail, and teeny-tiny arms. It turned in circles, snapping its jaws at the manotaurs as they took turns assaulting it from its flanks.

“Can we please leave now?” the driver whined nervously, looking at the brawl in the bus’s mirrors.

“Ugh!” Crystal gritted her teeth in frustration. “Don’t you have any nice legendary creatures around here, like gnomes or unicorns?”

“Um, about those—” Mabel began.

Crystal glared at her. “Mabel, why are you even here!?”

“Don’t mind me. I’m just tagging along because I have some major texting to do and the wifi at the Shack is still down.” She held up her hands in innocence.

Dipper side-eyed his sister askance.

The ancient predator made a deep rumbling snarl as it lunged at a manotaur. Crystal looked from it back to the twins who were eyeing the fight with more interest than concern. “That’s a freaking dinosaur! Why aren’t you running!?”

Dipper shrugged. “Eh. I’m sure the manotaurs can handle it.”

Now that it was out of the thick woodland, the dinosaur’s movement was unimpeded and it used the space to its advantage. It suddenly swung its massive tail around and knocked away six manotaurs at once, tossing them over a fence. It then seized another howling assailant in its jaws, and flung him back into the woods.

With over half their number depleted in a single act, the remaining manotaurs abandoned the fight and returned into the forest in an extremely unmanly retreat.

Dipper’s eyes shot open in alarm. “Okay, maybe not!”

The dinosaur, without any immediately threatening adversaries, raised its head and assessed its surroundings; binocular vision scanning for prey. It sighted the bus with a guttural snarl and headed in their direction. “It’s coming! Somebody get in, please!” the driver yelled.

Dipper sighed and looked Crystal in the eye. “Crystal, I’m sorry. Go!” He pushed her and she stumbled backwards, falling through the bus’s doorway. He threw her bag on top of her as the dinosaur charged toward them. The driver wasted no time closing the door and pulling away, not even waiting for her to move behind the yellow line and take a seat, and ignored multiple road safety laws as he made good their escape. The twins and Waddles were left alone with the massive, frustrated predator.

“Okay, don’t move a muscle. They only see movement,” Dipper warned Mabel.

“How do you know that?” she asked without moving her lips. She held Waddles tightly to keep him from wiggling.

“I saw it in a movie once,” he whispered through his teeth.

The T. rex ran past them a few paces, chasing the bus. It seemed like it was about to keep going when it stopped and flared its nostrils. It swiveled its head back towards them and a deep rumble emanated from its throat.

Waddles squealed in terror.

“It smells us!” Mabel screamed.

“Quick, over here!” Dipper grabbed her wrist. They broke and ran for the narrow gap between the bus station and the next building, a butcher shop.

The dinosaur lunged for them, but stopped short as they made it to safety, being too wide to pass through the space between the buildings. It eyed them for a moment then stomped away.

“Is it weird that I recognize that thing?” Mabel asked, recovering from the close call.

“You’re right! I think it’s the one we used for the Shack-tron’s fist,” Dipper realized. “It must have reset back underground after N.M.A.T. and escaped from the amber.”

“Do you think the manotaurs released it?”

He considered the question. “It’s possible. Fighting dangerous creatures  _ is _ one of the trials of manliness.” The thunderous footsteps returned, but from a different direction. Dipper ran to the other end of the gap and peeked around the corner. “Mabel, it’s coming around to this side! We need help getting out of here or we’re going to be trapped.” He leaped back as the dinosaur snapped its jaws at him. No matter which way they went, it would be able to pass around the bus station and catch them before they could get away on foot.

“I’m on it!” She began texting furiously. Minutes later an ice cream truck jumped the curb, its door aligned with the alley and its jingle playing merrily.

“Wendy!” Dipper yelled in relief.

“Heard you guys need a lift,” Wendy offered cheerfully. “Get in!” The twins and their pig climbed into the truck.

“I hope this thing can go a lot faster than it usually does.” Dipper eyed the speedometer.

“It’s just a normal truck with an ultra-low first gear,” Wendy explained. “It can still get up to speed, man.” She worked the shifter and stomped on the gas as the prehistoric beast once again came around the corner of the building. The engine roared and Wendy sped them away to safety, prompting the tyrannosaurus to begin hunting for slower, easier prey.

* * *

“We can’t just let that thing roam around Gravity Falls,” Mabel said as they stopped several blocks away; far enough for safety, but close enough to keep tabs on the huge predator. “It’s going to eat someone. It might have already.”

“I don’t know,” said Dipper listlessly. “Maybe we should just get Grunkle Ford and Grunkle Stan to handle it.” He was sitting against the freezer with his chin on his knees, staring at the wall. He had been silent since they got away, his mood deteriorating as the adrenaline wore off.

Wendy turned in her seat. “I’m sorry about the breakup, man,” she said sympathetically.

He glanced at her. “How did you know?”

“Mabel texted me about it, like, half an hour ago.” Wendy nodded towards his sister.

Dipper recalled that Mabel had been texting from the moment they walked into town and scowled at her. “Who  _ else _ have you been telling?”

“Oh, you know,” she said evasively, “just the people who need to be told.”

He considered it for a moment. “What, like Mom and Dad?”

“Right!” Mabel gasped and slapped her forehead. “I forgot about Mom and Dad.”

Wendy stood up and joined them in the rear of the truck. “You seem kinda messed up, dude. Maybe Mabel and I should handle the dinosaur.”

“I know!” Mabel got excited at the proposal. “Let’s get the crystal flashlight, shrink it, and catch it!”

“It’s not going to work on something that big,” Dipper said glumly. “I did some experiments. If the light isn’t strong enough to shine on the whole thing, it doesn’t work right.”

“Oh,” Mabel sighed.

“Do you want to talk about it, dude?” Wendy crouched next to him.

“Not really. I’ll be fine.” Dipper closed his eyes and rested the back of his head against the freezer.

“Then pull it together, man,” Wendy scolded him. “There’s a freaking dinosaur out there tearing up my town!”

Dipper took a deep breath and stood up. “You’re right. This is no time for me to get distracted by silly personal issues.” He reasoned through the problem out loud as he paced the interior of the ice cream truck, “Okay. The flashlight won’t work. But there are crystals in the forest where I got the one in the flashlight that  _ are _ big enough. We just have to figure out how to get that thing out there where they are.”

* * *

The Tyrannosaurus rex had indeed settled for slower, easier prey. They found it pillaging the butcher shop next to the bus station, to the fright and dismay of the butcher trapped inside, who was ineffectually hurling knives at the beast’s nose. It had squeezed the upper half of its body through the shop’s automatic doors and was gorging itself on the contents of the refrigerated display cases inside. Its back claws ploughed up the sidewalk as greedily pushed itself farther in and its tail swayed back and forth dangerously.

“Mabel, are you ready?” Dipper yelled out the window.

She yelled, “Go!” and Wendy drove down the street, cautiously approaching the bipedal terror.

Mabel and Waddles were riding the oversized fiberglass ice cream cone on the roof of the truck. “Come and get it!” Mabel yelled and began tickling the pig, making him squeal over the ice cream truck’s jingle.

The back half of the T. rex stopped moving as it paused and listened to the pig frantically wiggling in Mabel’s arms. It braced its back legs against the butcher shop’s facade and extracted its upper body from the store, shaking shards of glass and the crumpled remains of a display case from its massive head.

“It sees us!” Dipper said.

Mabel continued to make Waddles squeal, prompting the predator to turn towards them and break into a run. It accelerated faster than Dipper expected. “Agh! We need to go!”

Wendy gunned the engine and turned the truck around in a wide U-turn with the dinosaur gaining on them.

Dipper pulled his hat off. “I’ve read those things topped out at about thirty miles per hour, so try to keep that speed. I’ll let you know if we need to speed up or slow down,” he said, sticking his head out the window.

As they had planned, Wendy drove the ice cream truck around the edge of town in the direction of the Mystery Shack. The Tyrannosaurus followed them, just out of reach. When it slowed down, Dipper told Wendy to let it catch up. And when it came too close, Dipper told Wendy to speed up again. And so it went as they made their way to their objective.

* * *

“Soos, I know you don’t like talking about business stuff, but I’ve been running some numbers,” Melody said as she sat across the kitchen table from him. She pushed a piece of paper with a bar graph towards him. The graph showed a clear decline along the x-axis.

He looked at her like a scolded puppy.

“Come on, Soos! You knew it was going to take some extra effort to keep this place afloat and operating legally,” Melody pleaded. “We just need to find another new attraction or something to get people through the door.”

“Who knew coming up with new ideas would be so hard?” He rested his head on the table.

Melody looked up. “Do you hear something?” She stood and walked to the kitchen window.

“Yeah, dude.” Soos joined her. “It sounds like an ice cream truck jingle, but with, like, a heavy bassline…and a squealing pig sound effect. I should use that when I’m DJ-ing.”

They watched as the Ice Cream Palace truck sped by on the Mystery Shack lawn with Mabel and Waddles riding the giant ice cream cone on the roof and a giant reptile in pursuit.

“Mel, I just got a great idea for a new attraction, but we’re going to have to build a huge, electrified enclosure,” Soos said as he stuffed his arms into the sleeves of his Mister Mystery suit coat. “I’ll be back!” he kissed her, then ran out the door.

* * *

The ice cream truck plunged into the forest down a narrow cart trail, followed closely by the Tyrannosaurus.

“Okay,” Dipper peered through the windshield. “You’re doing great. Just follow this trail until the next junction, then take the left fork.”

“Easy for you to say,” Wendy struggled to control the steering wheel on the uneven surface. “Agh! Low branch!” The ice cream truck passed under a tree limb with a high-pitched scraping sound and a sickening crunch on the roof.

Dipper leaned out the window. “Mabel!” He looked back just in time to see the dinosaur stomp the fiberglass ice cream cone into oblivion.

“We’re okay!” Mabel shouted back as she clung to the broken mount point on the roof with one hand and Waddles with the other. She slid around sideways as Wendy took a hard left, nearly rolling the truck for a second time in her career.

They plunged down a steep slope. “I see it!” Wendy exclaimed. The rock outcropping with large crystals was visible ahead through the trees.

“Do not drive through the light! We need to get around to the far side to lure the dinosaur through the pink beam,” Dipper advised her.

She sped up to put distance between them and the enraged beast. She drove to the left of the pink beam of light, then cranked the steering wheel clockwise and slammed on the brakes. Mabel and Waddles spun around on the roof a full three hundred sixty degrees.

The predator, now enraged beyond even the basic rational thinking of its kind, charged straight into the pink light beam. It shrank with each step, and each stride became shorter. When it emerged on the other side, it was no bigger than a kitten.

Soos arrived in the Mystery Cart moments later. He parked it behind the beat up ice cream truck and leaped out, scooping the now tiny reptile up off the ground.

“We cute-ified it!” Mabel said, sliding off the roof of the ice cream truck with Waddles. She tried to tickle its chin, but it snapped at her fingers.

“I’m gonna name it Feisty. We can put it in a terrarium inside the Shack. That’s much better than a giant electrified fence.” Soos held up the squirming creature. “I can see it now: “The World’s Tiniest Living Dinosaur!”

* * *

Mabel found Dipper dangling his feet over the edge of the Bottomless Pit, staring into the void with his phone in his hands. “Whatcha thinking about, bro-bro?” She sat down next to him.

“Crystal,” he sighed.

“Yeah, take my word for it. Break-ups can be pretty rough.”

Dipper glanced at her with a questioning expression.

“So I hear,” she added with a weak smile.

“Did I do the right thing?” He slumped his shoulders. “Maybe I should have gone home.”

“If you had left, you would have made her happy. But you wouldn’t  _ be _ happy, because you’re happy here,” Mabel said sympathetically.

He groaned. “It’s not like I wasn’t happy with her though. We were good together when I was at home. Part of me...liked that...being like that; normal.” He shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s for the best. She wants a safe, steady boyfriend, and I just can’t be one when I’m running from one crazy adventure to another the whole summer.”

“The right guy for Crystal is someone who wants to grow up to be an accountant and thinks crossword puzzles are the most exciting thing in the world,” Mabel agreed. “You just aren’t the person she thought you were. There’s no reason to torture each other trying to make it work.” She grinned. “Besides, you didn’t get set up by Mabel Pines, expert matchmaker.”

Dipper thought silently for a moment and turned his phone in his hands. “You know, I survived just fine before I had this thing. I only got it so I could talk to Crystal and now just looking at it, it reminds me of her and it hurts. I don’t want it anymore. Maybe I should toss it in the Pit.”

“Eh,” —Mabel shrugged— “I think you should hold on to it. You might find someone better to talk to.”

Be sure to read the next adventure:

Project Moo Book


End file.
